Over the last few weeks I’ve become increasingly frustrated. Frustrated mainly by the fact that I just completed my Bachelor’s degree, and I still don’t know what I want to do. I have, however, become quite aware of what I don’t want to do. But let me back up a bit.
When I moved to Indianapolis about two years ago I got into banking because that’s what was available. I started out part-time as a Financial Services Rep, at a location inside of a Walmart store on the south side of town. This morning, as I ran a teller line at a traditional branch on the north side of town, I realized how much has changed… and how much more I’d like for it to change. I’m now at my third branch, working as a full-time Personal Banker, and spending a lot of time as the unofficial admin for our regional manager. Honestly, I really enjoy the admin part. It’s supposed to become a full-time admin gig soon. It can’t happen fast enough.
You know that feeling, right? I mean, I know I’m not the only individual that gets burnt out doing the same old same old waiting for a change of pace. I’m reminded of Hunter and Lauren (my favorite kiddos on the planet) with their “Where’s Waldo” books. And I feel like Waldo. Lost in a sea of faces and colors and confusion. Just wishing life wasn’t so chaotic.
It’s times like these that I get a lot of strength from one of Asaph’s psalms. (According to some Bible Encyclopedia online, Asaph is one of David’s choir leaders.) Opening line of Psalm 77 (from the Message): “I yell out to my God, I yell with all my might, I yell at the top of my lungs. He listens.” An absolutely profound passage in my opinion. Asaph goes on to explain this terrible predicament in which he’s found himself. He describes his days and nights blending together, strumming on his guitar wondering how to get his life together. I love how he admits that he’s not even quite sure what’s bothering him… he’s just messed up. Kinda makes me feel good to know I’m not the only one.
So, Asaph describes his situation. But then he does something incredible. He starts to remember all the cool things God had done for his people in the past. He relays this beautiful, poetic version of God splitting the Red Sea for the Hebrews:
Ocean saw you in action, God,
saw you and trembled with fear;
Deep Ocean was scared to death.
Clouds belched buckets of rain,
Sky exploded with thunder,
your arrows flashing this way and that.
From Whirlwind came your thundering voice,
Lightning exposed the world,
Earth reeled and rocked.
You strode right through Ocean,
walked straight through roaring Ocean,
but nobody saw you come or go.
Hidden in the hands of Moses and Aaron,
You led your people like a flock of sheep.
He goes on to tell some other epic stories of God’s intervention. He starts to get the fact that no matter where he’s at, there’s a God that gets it, and is able to help. In reality, he realizes that God is pretty much the best ever at “Where’s Waldo?” Because even when he was going through hell, God knew exactly where he was at.
That’s where I’m at right now. Feeling like life’s not moving fast enough. Like I’m lost in a sea of chaos. But I have plenty of my own “Red Sea” sagas to reflect on. Plenty of times where He’s worked things out for me and/or my family. Too many times, in fact, to believe for a minute that He doesn’t know where I’m at.
So, what are your stories? What’s He done for you when nobody else could make a difference? Think about next time you feel like Waldo.